Misery's Lament
by Sahna
Summary: Kurama seeks protection from an abusive lover, and Yusuke is the only one there to offer it... KarasuxKurama, YusukexKurama
1. Chapter 1

Kurama wiped the trickle of blood off his chin before turning from the window. Slowly, painfully, he got up and shut it before pulling the blanket up over his wounded body. _I have to go to school tomorrow…ugh. _Kurama was not looking forward to trying to explain the bruise marring his lower jaw. He curled into a ball and heaved a shaky sigh. Depression threatening to overwhelm him, the fox could only bite his lip and tremble as the tears came thick and fast. _Why me? What have I done to deserve this? And why am I so passive? Why can't I stop him? What's wrong with me!? Why can't I fight? I can't even bring myself to get help…I know what I have to do and yet I can't do it! _He did not sleep that night. His tormented mind allowed him no rest.

"Minamino-san, could you come into my office for a moment?"

Kurama groaned inwardly. _Figures the headmaster of the school would notice… why can't they just leave me in peace?_ With a sigh he followed the man into the office, aware of how terrible he looked.

"Is everything alright at home, Minamino-san?"

Kurama lied with a straight face. "Everything is fine. Why do you ask?"

The headmaster studied him for signs of lying, but Kurama was a master of deception. "I ask because you haven't been looking well these days. Are you getting enough sleep?"

_That, at least I can answer honestly._ "No. I've been so busy that sleep has become somewhat of a myth," Kurama managed a smile, though it did not reach his eyes.

The headmaster sighed. "Well, I can't make you tell me what's wrong, Minamino-san. But I can tell you that keeping it secret will do nothing to solve the problem."

"I assure you, nothing is wrong," Kurama got to his feet. _You and your stupid pride, Kurama… but even if you could muster the courage to tell someone it wouldn't be _him. The fox almost let out a rather hysterical laugh. _Gods I need help…._

_--------------------- _

"Whoa, Kurama, have you lost weight?" Yusuke hadn't thought Kurama could get any thinner.

"Hello to you too, Yusuke," Kurama said with a small laugh. He shrugged. "Possibly. I never really check.

Hiei shot Yusuke a contemptuous look. Suddenly, the fire demon threw a punch at Kurama's face. Surprised, Kurama barely managed to jump out of the way, tripping and landing on one bent knee.

"You never let down your guard, Kurama; you should have had no trouble dodging that. Obviously something besides weight loss is the problem here," Hiei glared at the fox as he rose, his concern not completely hidden behind his angry red eyes.

Kurama sighed and brushed himself meticulously off. "I… haven't been getting much sleep lately. I'm afraid I am a little drowsy."

"Well, you had better wake up, Kurama, 'cause we're going to need your brains on this one!" Koenma poofed into existence inches behind the fox's head.

Kurama swore his heart had stopped. "Koenma!" He spun around in surprise.

_Something is definitely wrong with him._ Yusuke frowned and took a closer look at his friend. _He's much thinner, and his hair isn't as silky as it usually is. Also…is it just me or is he favoring his right leg?_ The Detective's frown deepened and he glanced at Hiei.

Hiei was also examining the fox, but his eyes were sharper and noticed a few things Yusuke hadn't. _He's moving stiffly, as if in pain. His back muscles are extremely tense and he's leaning far too heavily on his left leg. _Hiei's ever-present scowl intensified as Kurama raised his hand to rub his eyes. The sleeve of his shirt pulled back, enough to reveal the edge of a faint bruise on the inside of the fox's wrist. _What the hell…?_

The fox in question was painfully aware of his two teammates' eyes scrutinizing his every move. _It's hopeless… they're sure to notice… _ Kurama looked up as Kuwabara arrived, blissfully oblivious to Kurama's physical state and Hiei and Yusuke's stares.

As they started out for the trouble spot in the woods, Yusuke caught up to Kurama, whispering, "If anything's wrong, Kurama, you can always tell me," before passing him and taking point.

It took great self control for the fox to continue walking. _Of course… Yusuke… if I can bring myself to tell anyone it would be him. _He gazed absently at the Spirit Detective's back. _Yusuke…whatever happened? You never knew it, but I loved you…once… _Kurama felt his spirits rise and straightened a little, lifting his head and even managing a small smile.

---------------------------

"I'm your little secret, aren't I, Kurama?"

"Y-yes, Karasu," Kurama managed to whisper, lowering his head as shame overwhelmed him.

Karasu grabbed his chin and tilted the fox's face towards his own. He smiled, almost sincerely. "You hate yourself, don't you? Poor, foolish Kurama…" Karasu pulled Kurama to him and kissed the fox tenderly. The raven was so gentle it was almost loving, almost as if Karasu actually cared.

Kurama's knees buckled and he fell into Karasu's arms, trembling. The raven held him, stroking his fiery hair so lovingly that Kurama almost started to cry. _This is why I'm afraid to tell… he can be so gentle and tender, like he is right now. Even though I know he's mocking me, I can't help but love him during moments like this…Why, Karasu? Why can't it always be like this?_ Despite the fox's restrain, a tear leaked out his closed eye to dampen the front of Karasu's shirt. _Damn…_ Kurama felt the raven's arms stiffen around his shoulders and braced himself for the blow.

It was a shock when Karasu dragged his tongue up the fox's cheek, licking away the saline trail. "Don't cry, Kurama. Unless, you want me to give you something to cry about?'

Kurama flinched. "N-no… please don't…" The raven's hands gripped Kurama's shoulders hard enough to hurt as Karasu growled deep in his throat. Kurama closed his eyes. _I forgot how much he loves it when I beg for him to stop…_ To the fox's confusion and relief, Karasu still did not strike him.

The raven loosened his grip, but the bruises had already started to form under the cloth of Kurama's shirt. He chuckled and kissed the unresisting fox again. "Don't worry, my pet. I'm not really in the mood… I just dropped by to say hello." Kurama knew not to trust his word by now.

"K-Karasu…" he whimpered, still clinging to the slim figure. Suddenly the raven pulled away and looked him over. He frowned.

"You need to take better care of yourself, Kurama," he growled. "You used to look so nice all the time…"

Kurama tensed. "I-I'm sorry. I'll try." _Just please, don't hurt me anymore…._

Karasu's frown remained. "See that you do," the gaze softened, "I don't like seeing you like this, my fox," he kissed Kurama again, a little harder than necessary, before disappearing through the window.

Kurama sank down onto the bed, a little dazed. _That's the first time in a while he hasn't gotten angry… I could almost say I would prefer it if he had... _The green eyes filled with tears. _At least when he beats me I know its how he really feels. It hurts so much more knowing that all his tenderness and caring is a lie…_ The fox fell back onto his bed with a sigh. _I don't understand how I can still love him… How is it possible to love someone so heartless…so cruel and controlling?_

_---------------------- _

"It's Karasu."

Yusuke blinked sleepily and opened an eye. "Hiei? Wha--?"

Hiei's fist clenched on the hilt of his sword. "Karasu, Yusuke. He's not dead. _He's _what's wrong with Kurama."

Yusuke was awake now. "What the hell do you mean, Hiei?"

The fire demon glared at him. "I followed Kurama home to see if I could determine what was wrong with him. He's injured, Yusuke. I don't know if you noticed the bruises on his wrists and neck, or his limp, or the tension in his muscles, but Kurama is in pain. Then that… that… _bird_ came in through the window and had Kurama pinned against the wall before I had even registered who it was."

The Spirit Detective stared at Hiei. "Why didn't you kill him?"

Hiei's eye twitched. "I was going to. I was about to when he pulled Kurama into his arms and _kissed_ him. And for a moment," Hiei paused, "there was such a look of wild happiness in Kurama's eyes," He glared at the look of incomprehension on Yusuke's face. "Idiot. Kurama has _fallen in love with Karasu._"

Yusuke couldn't believe that. "But he _hates_ Karasu!"

"That's what I thought too, Detective. But Karasu has somehow tricked Kurama into falling in love with him. And I will bet my life that he feels nothing for Kurama in return."

Yusuke gathered his scattered wits. "C-could you hear what they were saying?"

Hiei shrugged. "Not much. Neither of them are exactly what one would call loud people. I couldn't hear a word that came out of Kurama's mouth; everything I did hear was Karasu."

"Well?" Yusuke prompted.

Hiei looked irritated. He did not like having to speak for so long. "I heard Karasu ask Kurama if he hated himself. He said something like, 'Don't worry my pet, I'm not in the mood.' And then he told Kurama to take better care of himself. That's all I heard."

"… '_my pet_'!?" Yusuke said incredulously. Hiei nodded. "Did Kurama _do _anything?"

"Not really. He sort of lay in Karasu's arms and looked terrified for the whole hour he was there. It didn't even seem like it was Kurama," Hiei looked away from Yusuke. "When I left, Kurama was curled up in a little ball in his bed, sobbing. He kept asking why," The fire demon was silent.

Yusuke stared at the wall. _Kurama, crying? Kurama, in love?_ Something close to anger rose in him at that thought. He shoved it away. _And Karasu's still alive? I don't get it. Am I missing something here?_ The Detective's overtired brain could not comprehend the enormity of what Hiei was telling him.

"Do me a favor, Detective," Hiei said, sounding more like his usual self. "Don't tell Kurama I've been spying on him."

"You got it, Hiei."


	2. Chapter 2

_Yesterday he was so gentle… today he was back to his usual self…_ Kurama did not even try to wipe away the blood trickling down the side of his face. He lay shivering on the hard wooden floor, staring with dim eyes at the moon shining so brilliantly above him. _How can something be so bright and beautiful when there is such pain and heartbreak in life?_ The fox had no more tears left to shed. _I just don't care anymore… just let me die… my life is worthless…I'M worthless…_

Kurama was completely unaware of the small figure watching in furious horror from a nearby rooftop. Hiei could see the pain in the fox's eyes, the hurt, the betrayal, the heartbreak. _He needs help! That stupid fox…why hasn't he come to one of us for help!? How can he love that son of a bitch? Is that why he refuses to confide? Because he's _in love_ with him?_ Hiei turned away from Kurama, unable to watch the fox suffer any longer.

::_Yusuke… go to Yusuke…:: _A little voice in the back of Kurama's mind gently chanted Yusuke's name. ::_Go to him… he can protect you; he's strong even if you're not. Go now, before Karasu returns. Yusuke, go to Yusuke…::_

"Leave me alone…" Kurama said aloud, closing his eyes. "I don't want to move… I _can't_ move."

::_Yes you can. You've been through more pain than this. Get up. Stop being a wimp and get up and go to Yusuke.::_

"He'll know… he'll hurt me…" Fear trembled through Kurama's voice.

::_He's going to hurt you if you don't go, you fool. Yusuke can offer protection. He loves you even if he doesn't know it::. _

"What's the use?" Kurama sobbed. "He'll just turn on me too…"

::_Fool. You know how loyal Yusuke is. He's an inherently good person. Karasu is not. Go to Yusuke and stop being foolish. You need help and he can help you. Go.::_

Slowly Kurama uncurled his abused body, crying out in pain. He stood, leaning on the table as his lower back throbbed. _Clothes…_ The fox sloppily pulled on his wrinkled pajama top and even more wrinkled bottoms. Every movement was agonizing. His whole body throbbed. As he watched, ugly purple bruises were forming on his chest and thighs. Kurama looked at his reflection in the mirror and laughed desperately. _I'm a mess…_ Blood dripped from where he had banged his head on the floor. A bruise was forming on his cheek and angry red marks peppered his neck and shoulders. His eyes were red and puffy from crying, and the bags under them more profound.

How Kurama managed to make it to Yusuke's, he had no idea. The little voice urged him on gently, but where the fox found the physical strength to haul himself two and a half miles was a mystery. With the last reserves of his strength Kurama banged on the door until he heard Yusuke grumbling in irritation.

"What the he—_Kurama!"_ Yusuke caught the redhead as he fell forward, noting with dismay how light Kurama was. He pulled his injured friend inside and set him gently on the sofa.

"H-help me….Yus…uke…" The fox managed to rasp before falling into blissful unconsciousness.

Yusuke stared at Kurama's bruised face, feeling rage welling up inside him. _Was this Karasu? It couldn't have been. Kurama's in love with Karasu, _--the jealously rose up again—_and Kurama would never love someone who would do this to him… Oh Kurama, why didn't you come to me sooner? I wouldda kicked his ass if you only asked! _The human looked up as Hiei arrived, looking furious and worried at the same time.

"Kurama's miss—oh," Hiei blinked as he noticed Kurama's still form lying on the sofa. He sat down on the window ledge and stared out into the night. "I saw the whole thing…" he whispered.

Yusuke looked up. "Was it--?"

Hiei nodded. "I imagine he wants to tell you himself so I won't say more," the Koorime shot a strange look at Kurama before leaving as abruptly as he had arrived.

Yusuke sat down next to the fox's head, being careful to move Kurama's hair out of the way. _Kurama…_

The fox's eyelids fluttered for a moment before he opened them. Kurama stared so desperately and helplessly at Yusuke that the Detective was caught completely off guard. "Yus…uke…" he whispered. "H-help me, Yusuke… please…" a tear found its way over Kurama's darkening cheek. The fox buried his face in the sofa cushion. His body shook violently as he cried.

Yusuke didn't know what to say or do. He watched Kurama cry, rage building with every tear that rolled down a smooth cheek. It took a long time for the fox to cry himself dry, but he lay with his face buried in the sofa cushion for a moment or two after before he finally looked up at Yusuke. The Detective met the pained green eyes nervously.

"I need you, Yusuke," The fox whispered, taking the human boy by surprise. "I need your strength, I need your rage, I need your protection. Please, Yusuke."

Yusuke nodded, touched. "I'm not goin' anywhere, Kurama," he muttered, "I'll stay here, I promise."

Kurama laid his head in his friend's lap and closed his eyes. "I know, Yusuke. I trust you will. That's why… I came to…you…"

"Maybe you should do something about your head… it's bleedin' pretty bad," Yusuke said quietly.

Kurama looked tired. "Is it?" He reached up to feel the injury. His fingers came away bloody. "I hadn't really noticed. I've had other things on my mind…"

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Yusuke spoke. "D-do you need anything?"

"Yes. A shower."

The Detective struggled to shove that mental image away. _Now is definitely not the time, you hentai._ "I kinda meant is there anything you need that I can get for you?"

Kurama shrugged and winced a little. "Nothing you can get for me, no. But thank you."

"No proble—"

"Just don't leave," the fox had turned his face and whispered into Yusuke's thigh, his body trembling again.

"I already told you, I'm not goin' anywhere," Yusuke responded.

Kurama sniffed. "N-no, I mean, right now. Don't leave me alone…" With a pained groan the fox pushed himself up onto his elbows and then into a rather awkward sitting position. Yusuke ran his eyes over the angry purple mark manifesting itself on the flawless cheek, the shadowed eyes, the cut lip, and the blood trickling down his face from under his hair. His eyes lingered on the livid red marks decorating the fox's jaw line and throat. Already they were fading into an ugly brown. Finally Yusuke dragged his eyes back up to the emerald ones.

"Kurama…"

The fox cut him off. "I know… I'm a mess. A sticky, bloody, itchy, pained mess. I know."

Yusuke blinked. _That… wasn't what I was gonna say…_ Yusuke shook his head. "I was gonna ask if you wanted a bandage for your head, but O.K…."

Kurama nodded. "Although I suppose I should wait until after I've showered…" he sighed. "But I can barely sit up straight right now, so I don't think I'm getting up and walking to the bathroom anytime soon."

When Yusuke managed to find some gauze and tape, he gave them to Kurama, who promptly made a rough bandage, just enough to stop the bleeding. The injury was at his hairline and the bandage made the fox's hair stick up at a funny angle. Yusuke bit his lip and tried not to grin. Kurama looked at the clock and grimaced. Yusuke snorted.

"Four in the morning… I'm definitely not going to school tomorrow…"

The fox rested his cheek on the arm of the sofa. "I'm sorry to impose like this, Yusuke."

Yusuke grinned. "Meh, it doesn't matter. I probably wouldn't have gone tomorrow anyway."

But Kurama was finally asleep.

------------------

Yusuke growled and smashed the alarm with his hand, effectively silencing it. He was about to go back to sleep when he remembered Kurama. _He'd want me to wake him, even if he did only get two hours of sleep and looks like he got hit by a train. _Yusuke mused over it for a moment before deciding to endure the fox's wrath and let him sleep.

Kurama sighed and tried to roll over, halted by the sudden throbbing in his head. _Oh, right... What time is it? Surely it's time to go to school…_

The fox's eyes flew open and he stared at the clock in a sort of horrified incomprehension. _What!? Noon?_ _Oh, Yusuke, don't tell me you forgot to wake me…_ Kurama experimented with the idea of sitting up, and was pleased to discover the pain in his lower back had subsided greatly. Slowly he stood, and took a few steps forward before straightening and hobbling into Yusuke's bedroom.

Kurama sighed fondly as he saw Yusuke sprawled out on his bed, snoring slightly. "Yusuke… Yuuusssukeee…"

"Nnnehh, just a few more minutes, mom…" the boy rolled onto his stomach and resumed snoring.

"Yusuke, get up! It's noon."

The detective growled and cracked an eye. "Oh. Hi K'rama."

Kurama pulled the blankets off his friend. Over Yusuke's protests he said, "Yusuke, why didn't you wake me? Surely you didn't think I was going to skip school!"

Yusuke finally sat up. "Yeah," he yawned, "I thought about it… I knew you'd want me to."

"So why on Earth didn't you?"

"Because there's no way I was gonna let you go to school on two hours of sleep!" The boy muttered. "'Sides, you can barely walk, you're in pain, and you've got a great big piece of gauze on your head!"

Kurama turned to wobble out of the room as Yusuke got up to get dressed. _If I leave now, I can still make the afternoon classes…_

"Kurama don't even think about sneaking away now!" he heard Yusuke shout. The bedroom door opened and the half dressed Spirit Detective glared at him from within. "I know you hate missing any more school than you already have, Kurama, but there's no way I'm lettin' you out that door," Yusuke's voice was soft but his eyes were serious. Kurama sighed and nodded.

_I do need a shower… even more than last night—or this morning, whichever—because now it's all dried on me…_ He sighed and headed for the bathroom

------------

_He's probably gonna be in there for a while… I hate to leave him alone when I said I wouldn't but…_ Yusuke cautiously grabbed Kurama's keys from where they lay on the table and stuck them in his pocket. He snatched up his jacket and broke into a light jog to reach Kurama's apartment.

He had no trouble getting inside; Kurama had not set any of his usual precautions when he had left. Yusuke swiftly pulled a suitcase from a closet and swept all of the fox's clothing, schoolbooks, reading books, pictures, and anything else he could find into it. _Stupid Yusuke…now it weighs a thousand pounds!_ With a sigh the detective dragged the bag back to his own apartment as fast as he could.

--------------

Even after he turned off the water, Kurama stood in the steam with his head bowed, staring blindly at his feet. Finally he wrapped a relatively clean towel around himself and emerged.

"Yusuke, I'm afraid I don't have any… more…clothe..." his voice trailed away as he stared at the gasping boy with the bulging suitcase at his feet. "Y-you didn't…"

Yusuke nodded. "Yeah, I did, actually. Dunno how it all fit but I got everything I could find. Oh, here are your keys. Sorry."

Kurama brought himself as close to a smile as he possibly could. "That's alright, Yusuke," The fox toyed with the edge of the towel. "Would you please hand me something—preferably something soft—to wear, Yusuke?" He asked.

"Already on it," Yusuke was already digging through the bag. "Here," he tossed the fox some clean underwear and continued searching before he pulled out a rather rumpled pair of pants and a white collared shirt.

"That's fine, Yusuke. Thank you," Kurama disappeared back into the bathroom, reappearing a moment later looking decidedly better than he had the night before. The fox half-smiled at his friend and resettled himself on the sofa, watching in amusement as Yusuke rifled through his extensive collection of reading material.

"What the—is this in _English?_" He stared at the vaguely familiar letters on the cover of one book.

Kurama sighed, though not in annoyance. "It is not printed in Japanese," he explained. The fox was about to say more when his stomach interrupted him.

Yusuke grinned as his own stomach responded. "Wanna order in or what?"

"No, not really."

-------------------

Idly, Karasu watched them from his perch. _So, he's gone and run to the Detective, has he? Very well, my fox, I'll play along. _He got up and turned, glancing back over his shoulder. _I'll let you think you've won… for now._

_----------------------- _

The fox could not concentrate on the book in his hands. His mind kept straying to unpleasant areas no matter how hard he tried to stop it. Yusuke noticed Kurama's uncharacteristic restlessness and watched him from the corner of his eye, finally giving up the television pretense when the light in the green eyes seemed to dim.

"If you wanna tell me anything, you can, Kurama," he said quietly, not looking at the fox.

To Yusuke's surprise, Kurama laid his head on his shoulder and sighed. "I-I know… thank you, Yusuke." He hesitated. "I'm just—so ashamed of myself! And don't try and tell me it's not my fault Karasu is an asshole, Yusuke. As true as that is, it _is_ my fault that I was stupid enough to believe him when he said he loved me, and then stupid enough to fall in love with _him_."

Yusuke felt tears seeping through his thin shirt. Awkwardly he put his arm around Kurama's shoulders, once again at a loss for words. After a moment Kurama pulled away again, smiling sheepishly.

"I'm sorry, Yusuke. It's bad enough that I'm imposing upon your home and hospitality, but now I'm bothering you with my own soap-opera-esque personal problems as well."

Yusuke grinned at him. "You're not imposing on anyone, Kurama. Don't forget, it was me who went back to your house and gotcha your stuff. Besides," he sobered, "what else are friends for if not to dump all your personal shit on?"

The fox smiled again. "Thank you, Yusuke," he felt marginally better now, able at least to pick up his book where he had left off.

Yusuke continued to watch Kurama from the corner of his eye, unsure that the fox was as fine as he said he was. _He's such a strong person…. It's amazing what something as random and uncalled for as heartbreak can do to a guy who usually isn't scared of anythin'. Damn you, Karasu… If you ever show your prettyboy face around here I swear I'll make an appointment for it and the pavement! _ He sighed aloud and turned the television back on, only to turn it off a moment later. Kurama looked up.

"Why don't you go for a walk or something, Yusuke? You seem so restless," he asked, closing his book again.

Yusuke played with a string on the couch. "Restless… and hungry. We never ate today. Wanna order in again?"

Kurama shook his head. "Absolutely not. Come on."

"What? Where are we going?"

Kurama picked up his coat and turned. "Shopping. I'm not eating take-out for the rest of my life. I'll pay, I don't care."

Yusuke grudgingly picked up his own jacket. "Why do I gotta come?" he whined.

Kurama sighed again. _This is going to be a long day…._

_------------------------ _

"Yusuke don't turn around, but there's somebody following us," Kurama's eyes did not stray from the street in front of him.

The detective shrugged. "It's probably just Hiei."

His friend glanced at him. "Why on Earth would Hiei be following us to the supermarket, Yusuke?"

Yusuke laughed. "He's been as worried about you as I have, Kurama," he finally said. "Except he can hide himself a little better."

Kurama bit his lip. "Hiei has been tailing me?" Yusuke nodded. _How much does he_ _know? How much has he seen?_

"Don't tell him I told you, 'cause he kinda told me not to," Yusuke said, rubbing the back of his head.

Kurama sighed. "He's a telepath, Yusuke, remember? Hiding it from him is useless. Here we are," They had reached the grocery store. Yusuke growled.

"I hate shopping…"


	3. Chapter 3

"Kurama,

I love you.

For real."

_Whom is this from!? I always have secret Valentines, but this one is addressed to "Kurama," not "Suichi." And what does "for real" mean?_

"You look awfully thoughtful, Kurama. Everything OK?"

Kurama looked up from the piece of paper in his hands. "I'm trying to figure out whom this Valentine is from…"

Yusuke looked a little jealous. "You always get so many… why is this one any different?"

"It's addressed to Kurama."

"Oh. Well, that's interesting," Yusuke scratched his head. "I'm afraid I'm no good at puzzles and mysteries. Sorry."

Kurama looked up at him and joked, "But you're a detective, Yusuke."

Yusuke scowled. _Well, at least he's feeling better enough to make stupid jokes… that's a good sign._ He watched the fox a moment longer, before asking, "Whatcha thinking, Kurama?"

Kurama tapped the piece of paper. "I'm thinking it can only be one of several people if they address it to my true name. I'm thinking it could only be you, Kuwabara, Hiei, Botan, Koenma, Shizuru, Keiko, Kaitou, Yukina, Genkai, or," he paused, "Karasu. But it smells human so that eliminates Hiei, Yukina, and Karasu."

"Hang on a second," Yusuke exclaimed. "You can determine it by scent?"

The fox shook his head. "Not quite. I can determine race and sometimes gender by scent. Only with certain individuals who leave a distinct scent—like Botan—can I make a guess. And because this message does not carry Botan's scent, I can eliminate her," he paused to think. "I could also use handwriting to infer gender, but it's typed, so that won't help. However it means that whoever it was must have had access to a computer, so that rules out Genkai and Koenma."

Yusuke interrupted, "And I'd bet my life that Kuwabara's as straight as all sin," he said.

Kurama nodded again. "My thoughts exactly. So that leaves you, Shizuru, Keiko, and Kaitou. Kaitou is too literate and arrogant to write something so abrupt and grammatically incorrect, so scratch him. And I'm pretty sure Keiko has her sights set…elsewhere," he glanced at Yusuke. "So that means it was either you or Shizuru. Shizuru…" he looked thoughtful. "That's a valid possibility…" he stood as his cell phone chirped at them from the next room. "Excuse me, Yusuke. It's probably Mother."

Yusuke watched him go, letting his breath out slowly.

"You're lucky Kurama is so distracted, Detective."

The Spirit Detective yelped in alarm and spun to face the window. "Damnit, Hiei! Can't you ever knock!? And what the hell does that mean anyway?"

Hiei snorted. "It means, you fool, that you're lucky he's so distracted that he can't see the obvious sign you left him," Hiei smirked at the disgruntled human. "Learn some subtlety, Yusuke."

The human looked away. "Yeah, I'm not sure if I want him to figure it out or not…" he tensed as Kurama reentered the room.

The fox smiled at the fire apparition. "Hello, Hiei. What brings you here?"

Hiei smirked. "I came to watch you struggle over something so blaringly obvious, Kurama."

Kurama sighed. "I'll admit my nose is not as sharp as yours, Hiei," he picked up the note again.

Hiei snorted and said, "Hn. It has nothing to with scent, Kurama. Look at the _words_, you fool."

The fox blinked. "Do you mean the "For real"? That could mean many things. It could mean that what this person feels is no schoolgirl crush. It could also be a plea for me to believe him or her."

His friend closed his eyes and sighed. "You are a fool, aren't you?'

Kurama glared at him. "Well, Hiei, if you're so clever then why don't you inform this fool whom it was that wrote it?"

"Hn. Figure it out yourself." Hiei was gone.

Both boys stared at the now-empty window ledge. Yusuke blinked.

"Well, that was entirely unhelpful," he mumbled.

Kurama stopped mid-nod. _Was it? Am I not thinking too critically about this? What else could that "For real" mean? That the writer is honestly and truly in love with me and wouldn't betray me like…_ Kurama slowly raised his head. _…like Karasu did? Then that means that…_

Yusuke saw the connection click behind Kurama's eyes. He swallowed. "Ku-Kurama?"

The fox raised his solemn green eyes and found the confirmation of his suspicions staring back at him. He smiled. "Yusuke…I'm actually rather relieved it was you. It would have been very awkward if it had turned out to be Shizuru…"

The Spirit Detective laughed nervously. "So, you're not mad or anything, right?"

Kurama shook his head. "Of course not, Yusuke. Why would I be?" He smiled. "But I do want to hear you say it, Yusuke. It's one thing to write an anonymous letter and another to admit it to my face."

"I know, that's why I wrote a letter," Yusuke said, trying not to blush. "But I do love you, Kurama…"

The fox looked away from him sighing, "I-I'm sorry, Yusuke. I can't—"

"I know, Kurama. But I just wanted you to know I'm here for you if you ever come to your senses—I mean…get over Karasu."

Kurama laughed. _Come to my senses indeed! I'm glad Yusuke isn't stupid enough to become all depressed simply because he's been rejected…_ He looked thoughtfully at his friend. "You know, I _did_ love you… before Karasu returned…"

"Well then, that's all the more reason for me to kick his stupid ass," Yusuke sounded serious, but Kurama could tell he was at least half-kidding. The fox smiled and rested his head on Yusuke's shoulder, secure in his friend's presence. He felt the boy tense, but Kurama knew it was from surprise, and not irritation.

Yusuke wrangled with the idea of putting his arm around the fox's shoulders. _He's so trusting….wonder if he'd let me…I mean, he did say he once loved me and I know he's probably starved for affection… but I don't wanna be too forward! What if I offend him? But then, he's the one with his head on my shoulder…_ Yusuke slowly slid his arm around Kurama's shoulders, deciding that he'd take the chance.

Kurama looked up as Yusuke embraced him, his face flushing slightly. _Yusuke…_ He smiled and buried his face in the detective's shoulder, sighing happily. _He's so strong! Karasu will never be able to touch me now…not with Yusuke to protect me. I just wish Karasu hadn't captured my heart like that…it will be a while before I've recovered enough to regain my former feelings for you, Yusuke…_

Yusuke could feel his heart hammering in his chest. _Damn you, Karasu!_ The detective turned his head and looked out the window, his brow furrowing. _Not only did you cause him so much pain and heartache, but you've stolen him from me, too! I swear I'm gonna rip your freakin' head off if you ever show your stupid face here!_

Kurama could feel the rage smoldering in his friend's body. He smiled again. "Yusuke…"

-----------------

Karasu knew he was in trouble. _If Urameshi is so determined to protect Kurama, then my chances of retrieving my fox are slim. _He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. _But where there's a will, there's a way. I WILL have you, Kurama! Even if it means I have to take…drastic measures. Don't let your guard down, fox, it could mean death for you and your precious detective!_


	4. Chapter 4

Yusuke struggled against the policeman, too weak and exhausted to fight him off. His eyes blazed as a cop handcuffed the half-conscious Karasu and dragged him away. Only then was Yusuke released.

He ran to Kurama and stared despairingly into the fox's placid face. "Kurama…"

"He's alive, but in need of serious medical attention. We'd like the doctors to take a look at you, too," the police chief was dialing the hospital as he spoke. "You're lucky the lady next door heard screaming and called us when she did, or he might not still be with us."

"Whatever…" suddenly Yusuke felt very tired. He followed the police officers to the ambulance and fell asleep on one of the benches.

-----------------------

The soft murmur of voices stirred Kurama into consciousness. He opened his eyes and blinked as the sunlight glared from the reflection on the pristine white walls.

"Oh, hey, you're awake!"

Kurama slowly turned his head to look at Yusuke. An officer stood and left the room abruptly.

Yusuke blinked. "Where's he go—"

"_Suichi!"_ Shiori burst through the door, teary-eyed and frazzled. "Suichi…oh my God, Suichi…" she sat on the edge of his bed and sobbed into her hands.

"Please don't cry, Mother. I'm fine," Kurama said gently. He hated seeing Shiori cry. She could not bring her tears under control, so the fox let her be for the moment and looked back at Yusuke. "What happened, Yusuke? How did we get here?"

The ex-Spirit Detective shrugged. "I dunno, really. Some lady heard the noise and called the cops," he scowled and lowered his voice so only Kurama could hear, "Too bad they got there so soon…I had just broken free and was in the process of beating him to a bloody pulp."

Kurama sighed fondly. _Yusuke…that's what made me fall for you in the first place—your devotion and protectiveness. Perhaps another display of anger in my defense is exactly what I needed to reawaken my love for you…_ The fox looked up as Shiori stopped crying.

She smiled at her son through bleary, red-rimmed eyes, whispering, "You've always been so strong, Suichi. You're lying there so calmly and _I'm_ the one in hysterics." She dried her eyes.

A commotion in the hall prevented Kurama from responding.

"I'm sorry sir, but only three visitors are allowed at a time, and he's already got two!" The nurse sounded nervous.

Yusuke grinned as they all heard Kuwabara's angry response. "You and your stupid rules! We're his friends!" The door slammed open and Kuwabara stormed in, ignoring the protesting nurse. Following close behind was Shizuru, Yukina, Hiei, Botan, and, trailing sadly at in the rear, Keiko. She looked shyly at Yusuke as she entered.

"Kura—ow! Shizuru, what the hell is your problem!?" Kuwabara glared at his sister, who had stomped purposefully on the boy's toes. She shot a meaningful look at Shiori, and Yusuke mouthed, "Suichi" behind the woman's back.

Kuwabara blinked. "Oh…what did I say? Suichi—god that s too weird—we saw you and Urameshi on the news last night!"

Kurama paled. "Th-they had this in the _news_!?" Besides him, Yusuke looked just as shocked.

Yukina came to sit at the edge of Kurama's bed, and it creaked irritably under the weight of four people. Yusuke sprang up, and the ice maiden took his spot, laying her hand on Kurama's head.

"I don't know all the details, but I do hope you feel better," Yukina smiled at him, and they all heard Kuwabara's tiny growl of jealousy.

"Goodness," Shiori laughed. "Let me see, I know you," she nodded at Hiei, "you're that boy who's forever climbing our trees!" Botan giggled. Yusuke snickered. Hiei fumed, his fists clenching. Shiori remained oblivious, adding, "And of course, I know _you_ Urameshi-kun. But I had no idea you were so popular, Suichi!"

Kurama smiled, "Mother, this is Kuwabara Kazuma, his sister Shizuru, and Jaganshi Hiei," he nodded to each in turn. "And this is Botan, Yukina," he paused for a moment, "and Yukimura Keiko."

Yusuke looked up as he spoke Keiko's name. He met her eyes and stood. "I'll be right back," he said quietly. The two left Kurama's room and headed for the waiting room.

"Oh, yes, Ku—Suichi, we brought you some flowers," Botan pulled a bouquet of roses from somewhere and handed them to the fox.

Kurama brightened a drop. "They're beautiful. Thank you," he said. Shiori took them from him and set them in a vase on the night table.

A doctor chose that moment to storm in, looking furious. "All of you, out!" he barked. "Crazy kids, disobeying ever rule you come across…three of you can stay—well, two, because this woman here wants to ask some questions."

The crowd left; only Hiei and Shiori remained. Kurama sank back into his pillow, sighing in relief. "As nice as it is to have friends, I think having all of them here at once is a little overwhelming," he complained. "I do hope Yusuke and Keiko will be alright…"

Hiei snorted. "Kurama, half the reason that human came was to tell the detective that she understands. And no, I will _not_ call you by that ridiculous human name," he glared at the fox.

Shiori blinked. "You've got such a deep voice for someone so young!" she exclaimed.

Kurama bit back laughter. "Hiei's not young, Mother. He's just…vertically challenged," he chuckled.

"Watch it, Kurama," Hiei warned. "You're lucky you're injured…"

Yusuke beat the police officer back into the room. "Stupid cops…" he growled. He looked around at them. "What's with _you_, Hiei? And why does your mom look so confused, Kuram—Suichi? Damn…"

Suichi looked at her son. "Why on Earth do they keep calling you 'Kurama'? And what did Jaganshi-kun mean by your 'human name'? What's going on?"

Kurama looked away. "It's—it's a long story…" he sighed. "A _very_ long story…"

Hiei glared at the fox. "If you _really_ love her, Kurama why do you keep lying to her? And if she's your mother, you think she'd _care_ if she knew what you are?" he turned around. "Stop being stupid…_fox._" Hiei flitted away out the window.

Shiori cried out in alarm and ran to the window. "He's gone… what was that?" She turned to her son. "What _is_ he talking about, Suichi? What did he mean by 'what you are'? And why did he call you a fox?"

Kurama frowned as Yusuke started laughing. "Looks like Hiei's put you in a bit of a fix, Kurama," he snickered.

"Indeed," the fox sighed. "Well, to begin with, Mother, my name is not Suichi…"

---------------------

Kurama didn't dare look at his mother's face. "It sounds absolutely insane, doesn't it?" He laughed shakily. "But I assure you, I am as sane as ever. Watch," he reached over and pulled a rose from the vase. "I would move, Yusuke. I need clearance."

Yusuke nodded and got out of the way. Kurama closed his eyes and muttered. "Rose Whip!" and his trademark weapon unfurled itself. Shiori cried out in alarm and leapt off the bed.

Kurama retracted the whip and returned the rose to the vase, explaining, "Each of those thorns is sharp enough to slice through solid stone."

Shiori had to take a few deep breaths. "If-if you can do something like that, then how did _he _manage to—"

"Because Karasu is a demon, too," Kurama said simply. "And he is stronger and faster than I. I am limited by my existence as a human. He is not."

Shiori still looked pale as the door opened. The doctor poked his head in. "Look, this officer doesn't have all day, so one of you has to lea—huh? Where's the third?"

Kurama swallowed. "He left. You must have missed him."

"Oh, well, in that case…"

The officer entered and bowed apologetically to Shiori. "Sorry ma'am, but I need to speak with these two boys alone," she explained.

Shiori nodded. "That's fine, officer. I think I need to go lie down, anyway," she kissed her son on the cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow, Suichi. I can still call you 'Suichi,' right?"

Kurama nodded, and she left. The fox heaved a sigh and sank deeper into his pillows, the pain and despair he had been valiantly hiding now plain on his face.


	5. Chapter 5

The policewoman asked a bunch of questions to both Kurama and Yusuke before she left. Unbeknownst to them, their answers had been recorded.

At first it gave him pleasure to hear Kurama's voice, choked with tears, describing the months of abuse. The fox worked backwards, starting with Karasu's most recent offense. The raven's eyes glowed as Kurama described how Karasu had forced him to abuse Yusuke. But it didn't take long for Karasu to realize there was a part of him that felt guilty. He lounged in the small holding cell in the police station, able to hear every word of the recorded interview.

He heard one of the officers say that there was clearly no reason for Karasu to be formally tried. He'd been caught in the act; all that was left was to determine his punishment. The raven smirked. _Do your worst, humans. I'll just stick around for a while just to amuse myself, and then take my leave to take my fox away from your silly laws._ He smirked as he heard Kurama repeat his own sentiments.

"Prison? Hardly," the voice scoffed. "He'll just break out and come after me again…"

----

They let Kurama out of the hospital the next evening, but the fox flatly refused to be confined to a wheelchair. Something in his eyes must've convinced the doctor, because he let it drop. Kurama found himself leaning heavily on Yusuke's shoulder as they walked back to the detective's apartment.

Kurama did not say a word the entire walk and Yusuke could tell the fox was still struggling with the enormity of everything. Once Yusuke's apartment door had safely shut behind them, Kurama sank onto the sofa.

"Hey…Kurama? You don't look too good…" Yusuke said, sitting down next to him.

Kurama leaned back and closed his eyes. "I'm—I'm _not_ well, Yusuke. I feel so horrible for hurting you; I—"

"For the last time, Kurama, it wasn't your fault! Stop blaming yourself for something that Karasu forced you to do!" Yusuke interrupted. They'd had this conversation at least three times.

Kurama raised his miserable eyes to his friend's face. "I know, Yusuke, I know! Please! It's not that; it's—I…Yusuke, I was _enjoying_ it! I was taking pleasure from—from—" he buried his face in his hands once more.

Yusuke stared at him. "Is _that_ what's bothering you!?" he said incredulously. "Kurama, wasn't that sort of the _point_!? Karasu doesn't give a rat's ass what happens to _me_; he was making you do all that stuff to hurt _you_! Part of that was fixin' it so that you like somethin' that you're not supposed to!"

Kurama opened an eye. "Since when do _you_ know everything?" he hiccupped.

Yusuke caught that eye and merely held Kurama's gaze for a moment. _What's with him? That look…it's such a wild, panicked look! And…is he trembling?_ "Kurama…what's wrong? OK, that's a stupid question…but—whoa! Hey!" Yusuke blinked as the fox suddenly collapsed onto him, falling unconscious. "Uh…Kurama? Hey, Kurama! Earth to Fox-Boy…" Yusuke gave up. _Holy crap! His energy's goin' haywire! What the hell—_"Kurama!" He had to lay the redhead down on the sofa and take a step back to avoid being fried by his friend's rampaging energy.

After the haze of energy receded, Kurama was gone. Yusuke's eyes slowly traveled up the white leg until his eyes met the cold golden ones. He blinked.

"Uh…is this your little transformation trick, or…?" Yusuke was pretty sure he already knew the answer to his own question.

"No," Yoko purred, "I assure you, I'm the real thing, Yusuke." Gracefully the silver fox slipped off the back of the sofa and resettled himself in his former seat.

"Th-Thought so," Yusuke said. "But…can I ask, why? And how?"

Yoko's cold, almost mocking glare softened. "Suichi has become too adept at concealing his emotions: so adept, in fact, that it can be malevolent to his mental health. He's a lot more shaken up about Karasu than it would appear. The human mind cannot handle the amount of trauma Karasu heaped upon him."

Yusuke stared at him. "S-So you mean, he's gone? Kurama as I know him is gone?"

"I wasn't through, Yusuke," Yoko growled. "No, he's not 'gone,' Yusuke. If Suichi were left in control for much longer he would do something silly, like try and kill himself. Once his little mental breakdown is over I'll concede." He sighed. "As for how, I'm not entirely sure. My theory is that it's a defense mechanism: Once some part of him and some part of me realize that there is an unbalance, the reins are handed to me until further notice."

"So in other words," Yusuke clarified, "Karasu drove Kura—er, whatever—off a sort of mental cliff and you're here to catch him before he hits the rocks, right?"

"Something like that, yes…" Yoko confirmed, chuckling. He looked up as his cell phone squalled at them from the overnight bag he'd had at the hospital. "Perhaps you'd better pick it up, Yusuke. They won't recognize my voice…"

Yusuke grabbed the phone and spoke to the police chief on the other line for a moment. He hung up and looked back over at Yoko. "Hearing's on the twelfth," he said. "That's what? Five days from now?" The detective scowled. "Why do we gotta have a damn hearing anyway?" he whined. "We know he's guilty; throw him in jail!"

"But for how long? Does he go to a regular prison or a maximum security one? There are many decisions involved other than guilt and innocence, Yusuke. That's why it's a hearing, and not a full trial."

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, I know…" Yusuke grumbled. He flicked on the television and plopped gracelessly down next to the silver fox.

----

"Damnit, leave me alone, Kurama!"

Yoko grabbed Yusuke by the shirt collar and lifted him out of bed. "No, Yusuke. You are going."

"Awright, awright, just put me down, damnit!"

Yoko let him go and turned his back so Yusuke could drag his school uniform on. The fox half-yanked the resisting detective out the door and down the street before releasing him.

"You're going to school, Yusuke Urameshi, and you're going to stay there—in your classes, not on the roof or the field—until the final bell rings."

"You sound like Keiko," Yusuke snapped.

"I'll know if you skip, detective." The fox ignored him. "What's more, I'll double-check with Keiko."

----

Yoko leaned in the arch of the gate of Yusuke's school, waiting for the bell. He still had a couple of minutes. The fox ignored the suspicious stare of the security guard. He wasn't doing anything wrong.

Finally, the bell rang. Naturally, Keiko was out first. She let out a small cry of alarm when Yoko walked up to her.

"Oh…Kurama…you scared me…"

Yoko ignored her friends' fawning stares and asked, "Did Yusuke remain in class, Keiko?"Keiko regained her composure swiftly. "Yeah, he did…" She was pulled away by one of her various friends at that point, and Yoko was left alone.

"Atractin' all the girls, Kurama?" Yusuke smirked.

Kurama glanced at him. "Hardly, Yusuke. I'm glad to hear you listened to me and actually stayed in school."

Yusuke wasn't going to admit it, but Yoko was rather intimidating. He shrugged and started walking home. "Any idea when Kura—Sui—whatever—is gonna come back?" Yusuke glanced up to find Yoko glaring at him. "Not that I'm trying to get rid of you or anything…"

The fox's mouth twitched in what could have been a smile. "If not by tonight, then certainly by tomorrow morning."

"Why the hell'dya make me go to school, anyway?" Yusuke suddenly demanded.

Yoko glanced at him again and lifted one shoulder in an elegant shrug. "Because I could," he responded vaguely.

The detective sighed. Getting a straight answer out of Yoko was like pulling teeth. He stopped as Yoko turned.

"I wasn't expecting to find _you_ here, Kurama. I take it the human broke under the pressure?" Hiei had to physically look up to glare into Yoko's face.

Again, the fox half-smiled. "You're much quicker on the uptake than our detective here. I had to explain it to him for about ten minutes before he finally understood."

Yusuke contemplated kicking him, but decided against it. "Whaddya want, Hiei?"

Hiei snorted, but Yoko could read it as, "I just wanted to make sure you were all right."

Yoko did not push his luck by trying to make Yusuke do his homework. He let the boy be, content to let him watch television until his brains oozed out his ears. Yusuke would have if the thunderstorm had not cut off his satellite reception. With a curse he shut it off.

"Now what?" he grumbled. Yoko could think of lots of things they could do, but he kept his ideas to himself. The fox closed his eyes and leaned back against the sofa. Suddenly Yusuke spoke again. "Kurama…there's—there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

"Yes?"

"H-How does Suichi-Kurama—I mean, does he…?" Yusuke looked a little flustered.

Yoko knew what he was trying to ask, and he nodded. "Of course he loves you, Yusuke. It just about broke his heart to have to cause you pain." The fox hesitated only a moment. "In fact, that's one thing we both share…"

Yusuke didn't meet the fox's eyes. "R-Really?" He stared at the far wall. "But—I mean, I hardly know you, Yoko…I mean, I've watched you fight and stuff but…"

Yoko smiled thinly. "I could hardly expect more than that, Yusuke. Don't worry about it." He yawned suddenly. "I believe I'll turn in for now."

Yusuke blinked. _But…it's only 7:30…_ With a shrug, he let the fox stretch out on the sofa and rose to retreat to his own room.

He was in the process of dozing off himself when Kurama knocked on his door a few hours later. The redhead was back, and looked slightly puzzled.

"Hey, K'rama. Did you have a good nap?" Yusuke asked, smiling.

"I wasn't asleep, Yusuke. How come you left me alone…?"

It took the detective a moment to realize Kurama didn't remember anything. He sat up. "Apparently you had a mental breakdown, Kurama. Yoko took over for you so you wouldn't jump in front of a train or something."

Kurama sighed. "He—He didn't do anything…detrimental, did he?" When Yusuke nodded, his eyes widened. "W-What…?"

The boy scowled darkly. "He made me go to school and stay there," he grumbled.

Kurama stared at him. "Yusuke!" he cried as Yusuke laughed. "For crying out—seriously, did he—"

"No, he behaved himself," the detective reassured him. "D'you really not remember anything?"

The fox shook his head. "I don't." After a moment, he shyly met Yusuke's eyes. "Th-Thank you, Yusuke. For everything. I know I've been such a burden and I've caused you so much trouble… you're so much stronger than me…it's just I—thank you, Yusuke."

Yusuke blinked in the awkward silence that followed. He fidgeted under the fox's piercingly sad eyes before Kurama broke eye contact. Yusuke felt like he should say something, but words failed him as the redhead turned and headed back into the living room.


	6. Chapter 6

I made myself cry writing this last chapter...especially the last half. (Yay for angsty inner monologues!! Oo) Actually, there's one more chapter, but along with the chapter between 3 and 4, I'm only posting it to the version on AFF. And neither of those have been written yet, although I'm three-quarters of the way through the one b/w 3 and 4 so it should be up within the week. Maybe. Hopefully. Possibly.

---------------------------------

"So that's decided. Three years in priso—"

"No." The voice spoke before the gavel could come down.

Kurama stared at Karasu. _What does he mean, "no"? It's not like it's up to him…_

Karasu ignored the fox's stare. "Put me in maximum security." His request was greeted with a stunned silence. "Breaking out of jail would be too simple. Put me in maximum lockdown and reduce the chance that I will escape."

The judge stared at him, and then looked at Kurama. Slowly Kurama nodded his agreement. The fox looked rather baffled. He looked back over at Karasu. The raven allowed his eyes to flicker towards Kurama.

The gavel rang against the desk and Kurama turned his back on Karasu for what he hoped was the last time.

----

"He _asked_ for maximum security!?" Yusuke sounded as incredulous as Kurama felt.

"Perhaps he was humoring me, knowing I had fears about his breaking out. Or maybe he _could_ break out of maximum security and wants to lull me into a false sense of—well, security," the fox mused. He didn't tell Yusuke about the noticeable lack of Karasu's usual self-assurance, or the almost sad look in the raven's eyes.

"Kurama you're so…_morbid_!" Yusuke teased.

The fox smiled thinly. "No, just realistic," he clarified, seating himself on the sofa and falling silent.

Yusuke watched him, unsure about what was going on behind those leafy eyes. "Talk to me, Kurama. What's botherin' you?" he asked.

"Yusuke, I—" the fox cut himself off, staring out absently at the city. "I just cant help but feel that this isn't over, that this isn't the last we'll see of Karasu."

"Like I said, morbid," Yusuke sighed. "Stop worrying. We'll deal with him when he shows up again, but for now just forget he even exists. He's not worth losing sleep over."

"I know you're right, Yusuke, but I just don't—I can't—I don't know." Kurama gave up trying to explain and leaned back against the sofa. He wanted crawl into Yusuke's lap and cry his fear and anger and heartbreak into the boy's strong arms, but something—probably pride—held him back.

As if reading his mind, Yusuke hesitantly reached over and wrapped his arms around Kurama's shoulders. Gently he pulled the fox close to him with a little sigh.

Kurama smiled widely and laid his cheek on Yusuke's soft cotton shirt. He bit back a chuckle as the boy's heart pounded in his eardrums, and slipped his arms around Yusuke's waist. "I love you, Yusuke Urameshi," he muttered.

Yusuke's arms tightened around him. "Love you too, Kurama…" he mumbled back, joy swelling inside him.

----

In a chilly, solitary cell in the city's only maximum security prison, Karasu curled up on his cot, angry and confused with himself. _I don't understand…why do I feel so guilty!? I feel so horrible for hurting my fox…my precious fox! I don't want to hurt you any more, Kurama…but why!? What's wrong with me!? I've never felt guilty in my life and suddenly…suddenly…_ Karasu remembered the cold, unforgiving glower Kurama had thrown him in the courtroom. It had been full of anger and hatred, and it had been what had made the raven realize just how guilty he felt. _Well, it's no surprise he hates me…_

A memory of the warmth and adoration that used to dominate the fox's eyes resurfaced from where Karasu had shoved it away. _That was before I turned on him…_ Karasu closed his eyes. _He loved me so much…he would just lie in my arms for hours and never have to say a word. He was so happy…so radiant and beautiful. And even then I was plotting. Even then I was waiting for the perfect moment to break his heart… _Suddenly Karasu couldn't remember why he had wanted to hurt Kurama in the first place. _I remember I came to him with the intent of building up his trust, getting him to fall in love with me, and then seeing the look in his eyes when he realized I'd never changed…but why? I was happy with him…I was happy the way things were… No one had ever cared for me the way he did… For the first time in my life, I felt loved… and then I went and destroyed it! Was I afraid of truly falling in love? Was it arrogance? _

Karasu stopped trying to fight the guilt and self-hatred. _I'm sorry, Kurama. I had everything I could have ever wanted when I was with you, and I blew it. You're right to hate me; I wish I could turn back time and undo all the pain I've caused you, because you did nothing to deserve it. You took me in and sheltered me even though you hated and distrusted me; you showed me the sort of kindness and generosity that no one else ever had; you loved me: you tolerated my mood swings and humored my quirks. In return, I hurt you. I broke your heart in the worst possible way; I abused you; I raped you; I unleashed my darkest desires on the one person to ever love me. And now I've lost every chance I could have of regaining the love we shared. _

Karasu huddled closer around himself, and let the first tear he had shed since infancy roll down his cheek.


End file.
